By EsquireLife

April 18, 2021

Please don’t take this as expert advice about what is going on with Rolex. I’m just acting like a little bitch like most of you. I want to spend your hard-earned stimulus check on a Rollie. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive a stimulus check because I am the one paying for all your shit. So I deserve to buy a Rolex, and I will write this bitch off on my taxes.

Looking for a new Rolex

For the last year, I’ve had money burning a hole in my pocket. It has been over one year that I bought a watch, and I think it’s time to get one. Ever since I bought my Bentley GTC, I wanted to flaunt a new piece, kind of a reward for the reward of buying a Bentley. WTF? Yes, I got it like that because I work my ass off. Well, anyway, I want to purchase another Rolex Submariner because my YouTube channel has gone to shit. After all, it started as a watch channel, and now it’s a car channel. Not even close; I don’t know shit about cars; I love driving them.

Always stay faithful to your AD

Back to the story, I went to Royal Maui, my Authorized Dealer (AD), and told my guy; I want to pay cash for any Sport Rolex you have. Of course, I won’t pay cash, and I always get 18-month interest-free finance. Use someone else’s money to finance your dreams. As much as a baller, I am dropping $15,000.00 on a timepiece; he told me no. So I wanted to pull his bluff and tell him, ok, I will pay for the whole thing up front, and I will wait until you order it for me. Usually, this takes about 4 – 5 weeks to get it from Rolex; he said Rolex is not shipping anything to any AD.

Once you drive a Bentley you don’t drive a Corolla

I was blown away by how Rolex AD’s are stopping sales of their watches. Well, not entirely. My AD said that the only Rolex he has was a 39mm Oyster Perpetual. I didn’t want that peasant watch; what I wanted was a Submariner or a Daytona. I drive a Bentley, not a C Class Mercedes Benz. This is how honest my AD is. He told me to go online, find one there, and get a good deal and buy it. This is why I love this motherfucker; he is looking out for me. So I did go online and started shopping.

These greedy motherfuckers, LOL

What the fuck? The online market is dominating the Rolex market. I can find any watch that I want on there, but guess what? These online stores are charging 20 – 50% over retail for them. It’s like these online stores bought every Rolex and now are pimping them out to us. They are the drug dealer, and we are the crackheads wanting a hit. Hell no, I am not paying over retail for a Rolex; this is why I always buy new. You hear a lot of people saying purchase preowned. Well, guess what, I buy brand new because I don’t want a watch that someone used to wipe their ass with and didn’t wash their hands after.

I buy new because I can afford it

All my Rolex’s have been brand new because I appreciate them more, and I can afford them. But what I can’t afford when someone is taking advantage of the market and overcharging the consumer because of scarcity. I know, you idiots, it’s called supply and demand. Is it worth buying a pre-owned Rolex for more than what it cost new? To some, it might make sense because they are collectors, but some of these Rolex’s are sports, and everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.

Shop and ask around, WTF is going on?

I decided to go to another AD and ask; the sales guy was honest with me and said it would be about three years before Rolex can release us any sports watch. He told him that they could only order DayDates and DateJust, but they can only order two at a time. They already had two on order for someone, so I have to wait until those orders come in, and then he can order me, and total, it will be about six months for all this shit to happen.

I have a Hypodermical question

This is just my Hypordermical thought. Yes, I meant to say hypothetically. I think that Rolex is aware of the overpricing that is going on. Rolex will raise their prices and start bringing out new pieces and blowing out all these online stores. A new 41mm Submariner No Date is $8100.00, and online they are selling for $15,000.00 plus. Rolex might bump that motherfucker to $10,000.00 and kill those greedy ass online stores. I’m not sure; this is my Hypodermical. Yes, I would pay 10K for a new one because I want to be the first one to wipe my ass while wearing it.

Rolex knows what they are doing

Is this the Rolex Bubble that everyone has been talking about? As I mentioned, these are just my opinions. If I am wrong, I don’t want you, idiots, online trying to correct me. If this was a holy grail of watches or a limited series, I could understand the price going up. But these are your regular Rolex’s that are on the market. Even a Submariner Hulk is going over $18,000.00. When that Rolex AD calls me when those two allocated spots come in, my dumb ass will buy a DayDate 40mm President with the black face and the diamond baguette markers. Put your money where your mouth is bitch.

Real Big Dick Energy

Real Big Dick Energy

Real men are a dying breed We are in a world where men are acting like little bitches. There are...