By EsquireLife

July 4, 2020

I Work for a Living

As a Training Manager, at the company I work for, I train students from all over the world. From San Diego to the country of Dubai. The great thing about training is that I have students of different ages. My youngest student was 18, to my oldest student 72. Having that age range, I have to be flexible in how I come across as a teacher. I will not speak to an older student as I would talk to a younger student. In the past ten years of working as a trainer, I have seen students attend my courses with different attitudes. From a know it all that questions everything I say or a humble student that is willing to learn.

“Inspiration or Desperation” – Dan Pena

Every time I start a new class, I give my students my motivational speech. “There are two reasons why you are here, Inspiration or Desperation. If you are here for desperation them I am your last chance to succeed, so you better listen well. Because if you fail, don’t blame me because the person sitting next to you is thirstier and will take it from you. If you are here for inspiration to become great, then hold on tight because you will be 2 inches taller when you leave here.”

What a pu$$y

A student was attending my class, and one day in the middle of training, he stopped what he was doing and said, “F* this S*, I can’t do this.” It is similar to “I know that I can’t do this” from the Fixed Mindset list. The student’s age at that time was 23, he was also married, and his wife was expecting their baby. I felt terrible for him because he paid his hard-earned money to attend my course. I wanted to help him, but the way he yelled and lashed out in my classroom, I was close to kicking him out.

As soon as this happened, I got into the Marine Corps mode and said to him, “There are two types of people I don’t train, quitters and morons.” By the way, I didn’t use the word “Moron.” He replied, “Well, I’m not a quitter or a Moron.” I got four inches from his face and looked him in the eyes and said, “Well, pick up your effects and get back to work.” Honestly, I didn’t say “Effects.”

I’m Not here to Baby Sit You

I pulled him aside and explained to him that he was here for desperation, and since he was desperate, it was difficult for him to learn. He thought by him showing up to our school; success would be automatic. I made sure this student understood the lesson so he could apply this newfound skill and use it to help his family and newborn. On graduation day, I met his wife. It was frightening because the woman came up to me and said, “Are you, Ruben?” With a look of anger in her eyebrows. Why was I so scared of her, was is that I called her husband a quitter or a moron.

Remember, I didn’t call him a “Moron.” She looks me in the eyes and says, “I don’t know what you said to my husband, but the day you yelled at him, he came home and was a different person.” This student went on to start his company, and, in his first year in business, he grew his company to 24 employees. He was one of my most successful students in 2014.

Read 25 Simple Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset

To be honest with this discussion, I didn’t know about the 25 Simple Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset. But the way the situation with my student happened, I’m confident I used number five of the Article. “Replacing the word Failing with the word Learning.” I could have kicked that student out of the class. That would have just proven that he failed and was a quitter. Instead, I showed him that he is learning something new that he has never done before. I told him, “Learn how to get up after you fail, instead of being afraid to fall and fail,” My student didn’t graduate top of his class, but he did graduate.

I also used number sixteen, “Place effort before talent.” My student was only looking at the prize of graduating. For him to earn the reward, he had to appreciate the effort it took him to get there. Just because he graduated didn’t mean he was going to be successful. To break his fixed mindset, he had to acknowledge the hard work it took to be in class and how it wasn’t easy. Even though he nearly failed, I believe my student had a little Grit in him because he knew that if he failed, it wouldn’t affect just him but his family as well.

Stop Having a Fixed Mindset

You have to have a growth mindset that will allow you to achieve many things in life. To use myself as an example, completing my college degree will not change my position or salary at work. It will make my academic achievements greater. Even though I am an instructor, I still have to learn to become better, and the better I can be, the better I can teach my students. I think I said “better” too many times, but it sounds good. By having that growth mindset, you will also need Grit.

There’s an old saying, “If you hang around with two broke people, you will be the third.” You have to surround yourself with things that you are interested in so you can see the finish line. To complete this, you have to set smaller realistic, achievable goals. You can’t start at the top as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. You have to learn how every department works to have the responsibility. Your Grit will show and will get you closer to your goal.

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