By EsquireLife

May 5, 2019

Yes You’re a Showroomer

Showroomer (noun) – (sho-ru-mer) – A person who goes to shop at conventional stores and looks at an item of merchandise only to buy it online for a cheaper price.

Yes, We Have All Showroomed Before,  As a matter of fact some of you will even tell the person that helped you at the store, “I can find it cheaper online.”  Well good for f#@&!%G you.  You’re such a smart shopper.  So quick to pull out your phone and scroll through all your feed and see if you can find the same product for $2.00 cheaper.

A Dollar Saved is a Dollar Earned,” It’s still 1 f#@&!%G Dollar, You Idiot.”

What are you going to do, save the hungry with that Dollar?  Are you going to invest that in your 401K?  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done that in the past. I’m guilty of walking into a store, tried on a pair of shoes, walked out and purchased them somewhere else.  The reason I didn’t purchase the shoes there was, the clerk didn’t act like he needed my money.  f#@& you, I will give my money to someone that wants it.  

Now that I think about it, isn’t Showrooming like stealing?

Of course it’s stealing. You’re stealing the store’s time, their displays and most importantly their rent. Here comes all the idiots, “But what if I know it’s cheaper at another store.” Well if you know it’s cheaper at another store, why in the f#@& didn’t you buy it there.

We are Getting so Cheap in this Day in Age.

Of course it’s cheaper online because guess what, they don’t have a fancy showroom they have to upkeep or have employees to help anyone get you the size of shoes you want. These clerks get paid commission and when you don’t purchase from them and they don’t make money. Clerks spend money on their clothes to look presentable.  

My Salvatorre Ferragamo Clerk is always in a suit when I see him.  He owns better suits than me.

Why do you think all these Retail Companies are Going Out of Business?

You walk into the store, steal the company’s resources and you walk out. The very next minute you’re ordering that item online.  Meanwhile the store you walked into is wondering why their sales are down. Remember you’re stealing from them.

This is another reason why people don’t have People Skills Anymore.

You work for online companies that sell online so you don’t have to dress up to go to work. Sometimes I see online companies go to work and women are showing up to work looking like a seabag with lips. Who in the f#@& goes to work in sweats and a ripped up T-Shirt with no make up. Maybe somebody that works at a online store because since you don’t have to be face to face with actual customers.

I guess it doesn’t matter what you look like any more.

This also happens to me. People come to my events and use me to get specifications on things they are going to need to run a successful business. You know who you are. “Hey, if I happen not to have your product what is another thing I can use?” I can tell you that you can use your finger and stick it up your a$$.

These Idiots are always at my Events.

I call them the Wantrepreneurs. Instead of asking, “How much is it going to make me.” They ask me, “How much does it cost.”  Just by speaking with them I automatically know that they’re going to fail.  Business is what they’re not focusing on, more time is wasted piecing their business together.  The correct term for this is,

“Stepping over Dollars to pick up Pennies.”

You do that because you’re not confident in you or your business. Why do you want to go the cheap route?  You know if you fail in your business it doesn’t matter because you didn’t spend a lot of money on your tools. We have everything you need to start your business.   Now that I taught you how to use the Hammer correctly and how to make money with that hammer, now your cheap a$$ wants to use a rock.  Just buy the f#@&!%G hammer because it works.

You call me weeks later saying your hammering business failed because of me.

I get it all the time.  I’m to blame because your business failed.  Yet the whole time you where at my event all your focus was is to be on your phone looking for a cheaper deal while sitting in your car smoking weed. Trust me I see everything at these events and this is why you come to see me because your’e desperate. You want my expert advice so you can use my resources to window shop when the right tool is already in your hand.

Of course you are stealing from me.

You’re stealing my time, you’re taking advantage of years of my expertise so you can spit in my face and tell me, “I can find that Hammer cheaper online.”  I like your mentality because I know you’re going to fail in your business and in life.  It’s ok, this is why my events are expensive because even though you think you got one on me, no, no, no my brother, “I got paid from you already.”

You’re also the Snake Showroomer.

They’re the one’s that make sure to tell everyone that it’s cheaper online. Of course sh!T is cheaper online because they don’t have a store front or a lot of employees running their business. The snake tells everyone where to get it cheaper but they want to justify buying it as well. Snake Showroomers want to make sure they’re not the only ones that are f#@&!%G losers.

If you listen to me then I’m not the only f#@&!%G Idiot in the Room.

There’s also the Scared Showroomer, this is the person that listens to the Snake Showroomer, and agrees with the snake. But this person is too scared to buy online because they’re worried that it’s not going to be the same product. The scared showroomer waits until everyone else is gone in the room to talk and say, Yes I want to buy your Hammer. Why are you scared?  You’re scared that if you buy while the Snake is in the room, they will tell you how stupid you are for buying full price.

Don’t worry about anyone else but you. Don’t get influenced by the Snake Showroomer.

The snake showroomer is the one that will call me everyday upset because he is not getting the results he got while at my event. I will help you but I will not assist you on how to fix that cheap a$$ hammer you bought. This is the same motherf#@&3r that gets upset at me because I don’t want to tell him why his cheap a$$ hammer doesn’t work.

There’s No Showroomers at, “Da Club.”

In order for companies to stop showroomers, they need to charge an entrance fee at their store. You know when you go to the club, they charge a “Cover Charge.”  Yes, it’s a called a COVER… It’s a fee Club owners have to charge because they don’t want any losers taking advantage of free sh!T.  

Why in the f#@& do you think a bottle of Corona Beer is $8.00.  

You give the Bartender $10.00 and tell him to keep the change. You don’t say, “I can buy this beer cheaper online.”

Night Clubs don’t want Showroomers,

These Night Club owners are smart, they don’t want Showroomers going into their club and dancing to their music for free or not buying drinks. Either way the club already made there money at the front door.  Once you pay owners don’t give a f#@& if you just stand in the corner with your d!

Should Stores ask for a Cover Charge to Shop?

I say Yes, that will separate Showroomers from real paying customers.  In a real world, stores will probably never ask for a cover charge.  But at least we know if they did it would cover some of the costs and expenses of these dumb a$$ Showroomers.  There’s a mall that I go to, and recently the mall put up these ticketing machines that charge you for parking.  Parking used to be free, so now the mall has to make money to prevent all these Showroomers from coming in. 

Please think about it. Is Showrooming Really Stealing?

I think it is. You’re taking the time of that store clerk asking for specification on products. In actually you’re stealing their time and expertise, knowing you’re not going to buy sh!T. In the end who benefits, not you because you get it cheaper online. Nobody benefits because when you use that item you know that it wasn’t an honest purchase.

You as a Consumer have Rights, but you also have Obligations.” – Prager University

Your obligation is to purchase the product that you ask information from. Now, if you ask questions on a certain product and it’s not that tool that is going to be fit for you, then as a consumer you have the right to shop somewhere else and find the one that fits you.  But why do you think a store has different versions of the same product.

You Don’t Showroom When you Purchase a Vehicle.

For example you want to purchase a car, You go into a dealership because you want a 4 cylinder because it cost less and you’re a cheap a$$. After driving the car you are not satisfied with the performance so you upgrade to a 6 cylinder and that’s the performance you want. You don’t go to another dealership and buy the same 4 cylinder, no you buy a better version of that vehicle.

Be Smart and Stop Stealing.

Of course everything might be less expensive online, but what does that this say about you? You’re a f#@&!%G cheap a$$.  Next time you Showroom at a store, think about this, you might have walked out with nothing but you did steal from them.  

“You are not quality, therefor you don’t know quality.”

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